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Hyped-up concepts like The Secret, Tim Ferriss’ 4 Hour Workweek, and Malcolm Gladwell’s “10,000 Hour Rule” in recent years all really boil down to one simple teaching: You can either sit around and wait for cool shit to happen to you, or you can take a pro-active role in opening your life up to possibility. This is something that traces back through most of the major personal development thought leaders throughout the last century: it is a central principle in all of my Most-Important Books (MIBs), in Stephen Covey’s 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, in Napoleon Hill’s work in the 1920s, and probably waay before that.

Create your own luck and open yourself up to opportunities.

It’s the same reason that I am so passionate about helping people use the relatively-new power of the web to build blogs and brand themselves. This is the first time in history when we, as individuals, can easily compete with the big brands to build our reputation and authority, build businesses, and create global communities of like-minded people. I love showing people how to use blogs and social media to cultivate opportunities for themselves because they are what have empowered me to be so successful. But the web is not the only way to open up your life to great opportunities.

I subscribe to the maxim which says there is no such thing as luck, but that rather you create your own luck. And you do it by being as prepared as you can for opportunity when it arises. The wider you cast your net, the more likely you’ll be able to take advantage of those opportunities that present themselves in your life.

If you find yourself unfulfilled, it’s likely because something—your job, your relationship, your friends, the place you live—isn’t fully meeting your needs. That’s not to say your significant other or your friends aren’t great people. But you need to go out there and find fulfillment. Unfortunately, no one else is going to ensure your needs are met—we’ve all got to look out for ourselves first. If you’re lacking, if you’re unhappy or depressed, it ain’t easy and it ain’t fun, but you are responsible for going out and getting your needs met.

If we’re talking about a close relationship or a job, it’s always hard to give up the time and energy you’ve put into something you care so much about. But if it doesn’t completely meet your needs, you’ll have to risk the comfort and the years you put into something in exchange for the chance at becoming truly happy and fulfilled.

The willingness to risk the comfort of the familiar to find your true happiness is the path to living a remarkable life.

The key to living remarkably—living according to your own passions and desires—is overcoming many of the fears and beliefs that are socially programmed into us. To embark on this journey of complete fulfillment, you have to examine and question your assumptions. For example, ask yourself questions like these:

• Who says you can’t talk to people you don’t know in the bar/club?
• Who says you have to hang out with people in your age/race/income group?
• Who says you can’t leave a 7-year relationship if you’re unhappy with it?
• Who says living abroad is more dangerous or difficult than living in the town you grew up in?
• Who says you have to do what all the cool kids are doing (or follow a conventional career path/lifestyle)?

Many of us have beliefs like these ingrained in us and may not even realize it, but we allow our social conditioning to dictate how we live our lives. Ask yourself what evidence there is to actually back up these assumptions. Most of these beliefs and social “rules” are unfounded.

Anytime you see a majority of people behaving a certain way, ask yourself if it’s really necessary—if it really aligns with your personal beliefs and passions—before you jump on the bandwagon. Are you doing this because of peer pressure? (Yes, peer pressure still exists when you are 35 or 65!) Or are you avoiding doing something out of fear? Don’t let social rules dictate how you live your life.

Here are a few principles I’ve learned from making some huge changes myself, overhauling my life, and moving abroad:

1. If you feel pulled toward something, race towards it. A friend of mine was recently telling me how she feels stagnant living in our hometown and has been thinking a lot about what it would be like to live in Boston. She likes the city and has extended family nearby. My advice was to recognize that she’s attracted there and embrace it!
2. Big life changes are not as scary as they seem initially. Before I left for Thailand, I was scared shitless! Pulling up all your roots, packing up everything you own (or selling it all!), and putting yourself at the mercy of the unknown is never easy. But whether it’s a move, a breakup, or a career change, we frequently make things out to be much bigger in our heads than they turn out to be in reality.
3. Human beings adapt to new environments really fast. Whether you want to leave your cubicle to start a business of your own, establish new social circles, or travel the world, one thing I’ve learned is that you will get used to a new lifestyle, routine, or surroundings incredibly quickly. Extreme example: I adapted to being surrounded by riots, soldiers and gunfire and overcame any initial fear much quicker than I would have imagined.
4. Even if your goal doesn’t pan out as planned, you’ll still experience valuable personal growth. I told my friend who wants to move to Boston, even if she were to end up completely lonely (and what are the chances she won’t make any friends) and it’s not what she hoped for, taking action to make a huge life change that you’re compelled to make will force you to grow and develop in ways you didn’t anticipate. That’s the most fun part!

Hopefully these principles can help you in your own quest for happiness.

There always have been and always will be a small subset of the population who lead remarkable lives. They choose not to allow social conditioning to hold them back from doing big things. They examine their desires, their passions, and their needs and ask scary questions. They take action. The question is: will you choose to be one of them? Will you lead a remarkable life?

NEXT STEPS:

• Steve Pavlina has a really interesting article on getting your needs fulfilled.
• I highly recommend Jonathan Mead’s awesome Reclaim Your Dreams ebook on Illuminated Mind.
• Additionally, stay tuned to Thrilling Heroics as I present a new series on how to kick ass in coming weeks!

Featured photo credit: TuTuWoN